Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the Government will give to taxpayers
Q. Where will the Government get this money?
A. From taxpayers
Q. So the Government is giving me back me own money?
A. Only a smidgen
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is you will use this money to buy a high definition flat screen TV thus stimulating the economy
Q. But isn't this stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at The Warehouse all the money will go to China
If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Arabs
If you purchase a computer it will go to India
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to South East Asia, the Pacific or Australia
If you buy a car it will go to Japan or Europe
If you buy useless crap it will go to Taiwan
and none of this spending will help the economy
We need to keep the money here. You can spend it at garage sales, ball games, prostitutes, beer or tattoos
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